Mom Rant

Why Listening to Your Husband Struggle With Both Kids is a Joy

Here it is 2pm and you’re again reading Chicka Chicka Boom Boom with your kid for the third time. Nevermind, that every time I read the title of this book, I instantly think of a cheesy porn soundtrack…”bow chicka bow wow.” Or maybe I start feeling frustrated reading it because I know all these lowercase […]

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Mom Life

A-tisket, a-tasket, just hide that junk in a basket

I love a decorative basket. In fact, could we just bring back those Longaberger parties I know my mom would go to all those years ago?  Forget essential oils, face creams, butt plugs and whatever other wares people are peddling these days. Until anal beads can hide all the stuff I’ve accumulated in the two […]

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Kid Stories, Mom Life

Why I Laugh When My Kid Falls Down and Eats It

Me and my kid are walking down the sidewalk headed towards the playground.  The sun beaming down on my daughter’s hair as it blows effortlessly in the wind.  I take a minute to think how great it must be to be a 3yo. No worries, no cares, just happy to be running free.   She […]

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Short Story

The Door

All is quiet as a television silently displays “Are you still watching Mother Goose Club?” with the remote long disappeared, having been hidden by her oldest. A mother to a newborn and a toddler, exhausted from sleeping in two hour stretches, collapses on the living room couch wearing an old college sweatshirt all but covered […]

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Quiz

Potential Parent Questionnaire

So you think you want kids? Before you start picking out nursery colors, complete the following questionnaire to see if you’re ready for the mental and physical war you’re thinking about embarking on. Good luck… Are you willing to forgo any and all sleep for a period of 4-8 months? Maybe longer. If someone throws […]

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Mom Life

“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation”

“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.”  Buy it on a mug or plaster it on a sweatshirt.  It’s like writing down your hopes in the third grade or making a dream board in college.  Maybe if you write it down, it will come to fruition. But as a stay-at-home mother, this remains an aspiration and […]

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Mom Life

Why it’s okay to call your kid a jerk

Alright, alright…calm down. We know you love your kid. But if we’re being honest, you know there’s definitely been more than one time your kid has done something that’s made you look at him and think, “what an asshole.” And probably on more than one occasion you’ve said it out loud. Let’s be real here. […]

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Mom Rant

When postpartum hair loss rears its ugly, balding head

Ah, postpartum hair loss. You have come to rear your ugly head. Perhaps a head with a nice bald spot as my hair seemingly falls out in clumps. Gone is the lustrous pregnancy hair, full of body and shine. I thought I could push you off a bit by continuing to take my prenatal vitamins […]

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Kid Craziness, Mom Life

So You’re in a Rush?

It’s 8:30 in the morning and you have a doctor’s appointment for your 3 year old at 10am.  Plenty of enough time to get ready and be there on time, right? Nope.  Because you have a 3 year old.  Their understanding of time is like your understanding of quantum physics.  They don’t care where you […]

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Mom Life

Thoughts while working out

Alright. Cool. Both kids down for a nap. Time for some me time. Going to do this body RIGHT. I need to find some clothes. Yoga pants first order of business. Who am I kidding?  I have like ten pairs. Shouldn’t be hard. K so where are those pants?  Could Donald Duck it but what […]

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