When Your Kid Uses Your Own Words Against You
As a mother, you’re supposed to bestow wisdom on our children to help them learn the ways of the world. “Say thank you”, “don’t say crap”, “you’re freaking out and need to calm down”, etc. All teachings that were passed down from your parents. So you’ve been where your kids are and had to hear […]
Car seat power naps are the freakin’ worst
Imagine you are driving home after running some quick errands with your toddler – nothing out of the ordinary, just a stop to drop off some things at Goodwill and pick up some groceries. Sure, he may have had a few moments in the store but nothing you couldn’t manage. Nothing to indicate what is […]
World War 3 aka Mealtime
It’s 8am. You’re in the kitchen with your 3yo and you ask her “what do you want for breakfast today?” Her reply “cereal”. You glare at her trying to decipher if you believe her or not. She stares back at you and never blinks. “Ok…cereal it is.” And she leaves the kitchen. But you’re still […]
Shows about mamas for mamas
Here is a list of shows for you to turn on with every intention of watching, just to abandon to do things around the house only to come back and have it be on the fifth episode (but if you can manage sitting in one place and getting some much needed “me time,” do it.) […]
Species: Mother AKA: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Servant, Slave to Her Family
Description Hair in a messy bun, yoga pants, sweatshirt with either food, milk or both on it. Tired eyes, unshaved legs and a Target receipt hanging out of her purse. Habitat Grocery stores, playgrounds, doctor’s offices or her residence. Foods Lara Bars, leftover goldfish she found in an old ziploc bag in the bottom […]
Doing away with sarcasm in the toddler age
I am one of those unfortunate douchebags who falls back on sarcasm all too frequently. It’s not a great trait. It’s especially not great when in the company of a toddler learning the ins and outs of verbal communication. Cursing has been easier for me to curb than expected with adequate replacements to sub in […]
Games My Kids Play That I Hate
Hide the open container of yogurt. How many Goldfish can I fit in my mouth at once. How many times can I sing Baby Shark before Mom freaks out. If I eat this red finger paint, will it taste like strawberries. How far can I get my finger in my nose. Can I draw a […]
Resume of a Stay-at-Home Mom
One nagging thought that pops up every so often while being an average-at-best homemaker is returning to work. Eventually my children will be seen fading into the distance on a yellow school bus and I will be left with a void likely to be filled with gainful employment after a rather unconvincing argument that the […]
My “Mom Attire” is Multi-Functional
My Messy Bun – A food safety benefit. When I prep the many meals for my family during the day, my messy bun keeps all my hair in place proving to be as efficient as a hairnet. My Yoga Pants – Highly effective when having to climb into playground equipment to retrieve my child or […]
20 perks to being pint-sized
My firstborn was a preemie, coming into the world 8 weeks early after yours truly had a nasty spat with eclampsia and HELLP syndrome that nearly killed us both. While I can say the monstrously high blood pressure, low blood platelets, seizures, and failing kidneys are safely in my past, my son has had trouble […]
About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
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My kids:
Time spent looking for their shoes
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Time spent complaining that they can’t find their shoes
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“Watch me shot gun this deviled egg!” and other things I teach my nieces and nephew.
Good morning to everyone except my 3 yr old who said "It's okay Mommy I didn't eat any pie, I just licked it"
“Nah”
- Kids deciding whether to flush the toilet.