Breaking from the 9 to 5
For much of my adolescence, I spent weeknight dinners and weekends with my mother, father, and sister. It gave a feeling of consistency and solidity knowing most nights the whole family would be home, gathered around the table, talking about how the kid next door is a future criminal or how the assistant principal is […]
Am I packing for a family vacation or moving cross-country?
It’s not uncommon and certainly not wrong to look back on your days, pre-children, and remember them fondly. More recently, I did this as I was practically playing the world’s worst game of Tetris trying to fit the boatloads of things needed for our week-long vacation in the back of our Honda CR-V. Remember when […]
The holiest of craps
As parents, life is full of little “holy crap” moments. They can range from the good like “holy crap, did you see him take his first steps?!” to the bad like “holy crap, what did you just put in your mouth?” to the literal like “holy crap, what did this kid eat?” Occasionally, there is […]
Sharing Is Caring Except When It’s Germs From That Kid With The Runny Nose
So your kid is sick. I get it. Kids aren’t big on lying in bed and resting while they’re sick. In fact, they’re pretty good about not showing any signs of being slowed down except for the string of mucus connecting their nose to their elbow. So you probably want to get them out of […]
Pregnancy after prematurity
My first pregnancy, I made it to 32 weeks and 4 days before everything unraveled. A normal day gave way to seizures, dangerously high blood pressure, extremely low blood platelets, and the premature delivery of my son nearly 8 weeks early with little to no memory of what happened. With an invaluable amount of therapy […]
When Your Friend Is Pregnant With Her First Child And Is “Totally Prepared”
You sit down with your friend who’s 7 months pregnant. She’s glowing and beautiful wearing clean clothes, beautiful hair that’s neatly arranged and makeup perfectly on. You can’t help but think she’s the “before” picture and you are most certainly the “after” picture. You glance down at your tank top that’s covered in, well actually, […]
I Can Now Say I’ve Walked Through Hell and Survived.
My daughter just had diarrhea while wearing undies and pants and didn’t tell me. She then took off her pants and undies and got it all over her legs, arms and hands. Not to mention all over the floor. At first I started to run away because…well obviously I don’t need to explain why I […]
The Common Cold: A Horror Story
I’m a huge fan of horror movies but I am quick to discount ones that just use blood and gore to cause fear. The good ones? They are the ones that build a sense of dread you can feel deep down in the pit of your stomach. What rivals that particular brand of dread? The […]
The Day I Called 911 On The Moon
I was 9 months pregnant, and besides being insanely uncomfortable, I was also in the midst of the absent-minded last few weeks of my pregnancy. That night, I went to bed early. I took my contacts out and put on my horribly “out-of-date prescription” glasses. As I laid down and tried to uncomfortably shift my […]
Tongue Tied
My son was born with a tongue tie, but it didn’t demand the immediate attention of anyone in the hospital when he was born, nor did it cause any concern from his pediatrician until he began showing a delay in speech. We took the “wait and see” approach, exhausting every avenue before deeming surgery necessary. […]
About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
Latest Tweets
I’m a Gen Xer so I adapt to new technology like a Millennial but get angry about it like a Boomer.
wordle: name a 5-letter word
my brain: …TUNA
wordle: literally any 5-letter word
my brain: …QUENCH
wordle: LITERALLY JUST TYPE IN THE FIRST 5-LETTER WORD THAT COMES INTO YOUR HEAD
my brain: …LOPPO?
wordle: A WORD. A REAL WORD THAT IS 5 LETTERS LONG
my brain: … BBBBB
The only useful parenting advice I’ve ever had:
It takes two to argue
Say what you will about women, but the most gossipy bitches I know are my husband and his dad when they get together and talk about people from their home town.
When do kids stop treating you like you’re just another chair? Is it 5? I’m hoping it’s 5.