The Day My 3yo Said A Homeless Man Looked Disgusting
I love my kid. She’s awesome. I love talking about stuff with her and seeing how she feels or what she thinks about it. It’s always interesting to hear her take on stuff. Recently, we were driving and came up to a stop light. There was a homeless man asking for money. My daughter […]
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas For a Mom
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the home, The kids had gone nuts and wouldn’t leave mom alone. She scrambled through dinner and rushed through their baths, And put them in jammies, her small psychopaths. Then they took off running with a scream and a shout, While mom followed hoping for no diaper […]
Am I packing for a family vacation or moving cross-country?
It’s not uncommon and certainly not wrong to look back on your days, pre-children, and remember them fondly. More recently, I did this as I was practically playing the world’s worst game of Tetris trying to fit the boatloads of things needed for our week-long vacation in the back of our Honda CR-V. Remember when […]
What You Didn’t Know About Stay At Home Dads
As a stay-at-home mom, I’ve experienced judgement. Mainly from other moms. Trust me, I’m well aware I’m no June Cleaver. My house is messy, my kids don’t get baths everyday and I have tons of non-organic food in my house. So when I catch an eye roll or head shaking from another mom, I just […]
Can a 3yo be in charge of nighttime feedings for a newborn? Asking for a friend…
“Mommy, can I hold the new baby?” You and your husband’s eyes meet as you both scramble to find the right answer to tell her. What an amazing picture it would be. Your oldest holding your youngest. Aww. But then you flashback to the time you remember her punishing her baby doll for not sharing […]
Summer activities for my fellow summer-haters
It’s summer, it’s hotter than balls, and it’s hard for me not to feel guilty keeping the kids locked up in the house with A/C all day. But when you start sweating like a sinner in church from the moment you step foot out the door, you start wondering if you’re getting enough Vitamin D […]
Games My Kids Play That I Hate
Hide the open container of yogurt. How many Goldfish can I fit in my mouth at once. How many times can I sing Baby Shark before Mom freaks out. If I eat this red finger paint, will it taste like strawberries. How far can I get my finger in my nose. Can I draw a […]
Our Trip to the Bathroom at Target
On one of my many, MANY trips to Target, my daughter lets me know that she has to pee. So I lead her to the bathroom. We enter the 4 stall bathroom. Two are occupied, one is out of order and the other one should be quarantined and blocked off by police tape. I explain […]
About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
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Parenthood is mostly thinking, "I know my kid is supposed to be smart but seriously what the fuck?"
Sneezonings:
When a toddler sneezes all over your food.
5: please can I have an apple
Me: sure *gives apple*
5: oh dear
Me: what’s up
5: I can’t eat that apple
Me: why not
5: it’s not a donut
Took my 9yo to school. I don’t usually get to. I said bye but she walked straight in. No word, no hug, not even a wave. That’s weird, I thought. Had I upset her? That evening I asked if she was ok and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was “really embarrassing”
I told my husband to watch our toddler closely while I was out as he'd been particularly wild that day and as I was leaving I swear I heard my husband muttering to himself, "I don't feel safe".