Sharing Is Caring Except When It’s Germs From That Kid With The Runny Nose
So your kid is sick. I get it. Kids aren’t big on lying in bed and resting while they’re sick. In fact, they’re pretty good about not showing any signs of being slowed down except for the string of mucus connecting their nose to their elbow. So you probably want to get them out of […]
The Common Cold: A Horror Story
I’m a huge fan of horror movies but I am quick to discount ones that just use blood and gore to cause fear. The good ones? They are the ones that build a sense of dread you can feel deep down in the pit of your stomach. What rivals that particular brand of dread? The […]
When a toddler waves at you, dammit, you wave back
I am curious, sir, who sat there mean-muggin’ when my precious, innocent little child waved at you with his tiny little hands, smiling with his tiny little toothy grin – who hurt you? Was your favorite family pet murdered by a gang of angry toddlers, cranky from teething and a bad nap? Maybe one unfiltered […]
Car seat power naps are the freakin’ worst
Imagine you are driving home after running some quick errands with your toddler – nothing out of the ordinary, just a stop to drop off some things at Goodwill and pick up some groceries. Sure, he may have had a few moments in the store but nothing you couldn’t manage. Nothing to indicate what is […]
I am Sisyphus and this is my boulder.
Sisyphus. You know the myth. Too crafty for his own good in cheating death, so he was doomed to roll a boulder up hill just to have it roll down over and over again for an eternity. There are days I feel like he is my brother from another mother. That, maybe, I was too […]
For the love of everything holy, don’t have a holiday baby
I, Emily, am a holiday baby. I came blazing into this world on the back of a bottle rocket on the 4th of July in the city of brotherly love (or you know, the more traditional way- pried from my morphine-dosed mother in a hospital room full of medical personnel and my father wondering why […]
My Child…the Champion of Marathon Eating
Trust me, my kid is worse than yours. It’s not that she’s super picky. Although, she’s definitely that too. It’s that she’s insanely distracted and takes longer to eat than a sloth. I’ve tried everything. Timers, losing privileges, throwing her food away, incentives for finishing, saying she needs to eat fast like a cheetah and […]
To the Moms I Used to Judge Before I Had Kids
I owe you an apology. I can’t tell you how many times I used to be annoyed by someone else’s kids and thought to myself, why won’t that mom control her kid? And now, I understand. I remember being on a plane and seeing this woman with a 6 or 7 month old baby. He […]
Fact: There Will Be Times You Go Days Without a Shower
Ah motherhood. You made life. You cared and nurtured it, and made sure it was happy and healthy. You’ve cleaned their little faces, wiped their little noses and changed all their dirty diapers. Your little one is looking good. Then there’s you. Eesh. By the look of it, it’s been about 3 to 4 solid […]
Why Listening to Your Husband Struggle With Both Kids is a Joy
Here it is 2pm and you’re again reading Chicka Chicka Boom Boom with your kid for the third time. Nevermind, that every time I read the title of this book, I instantly think of a cheesy porn soundtrack…”bow chicka bow wow.” Or maybe I start feeling frustrated reading it because I know all these lowercase […]
About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
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Just spent 5 minutes using makeup wipes and a rag trying to scrub red marker off of my 5yo's face only to find out it was a scrape.
*My 8yo looking at her kindergarten yearbook*
"Ugh, look how young I looked. I feel so old. I need to sit down."
Did you know that you can bring a carseat to the fire department and ask firemen for help moving or installing it?
Did you also know, it's considered inappropriate to set up a chair in the shade, sip wine and watch hot firemen installing that same car seat?
5yo: "If you die I'd be so sad bc Daddy doesn't buy us the good snacks."