Husbands That Are Badass Enough to get Vasectomies
So you just have your baby and are in the midst of the chaos of learning how to take care of it. You’re accepting the fact that there’s no recovery time for you and your body is taking the backseat to this new bundle of joy. (I use the word “joy” loosely) So while your […]
99 red balloons (OK, 2. Just 2 balloons)
About a month ago, I was out running errands with my sister preparing for my son’s 2nd Birthday party. Unsuspecting of what was to come, I walk into Party City with two balloons I had purchased at the Target Dollar Spot and present them to the employee to be filled with helium. What ensued was […]
Using Candy as Incentive for Your Kid to Listen to You
I remember a few years ago, hearing a lady in a checkout line tell her kid “if you stop crying, I’ll get you a cookie.” Then thinking to myself, how I would never do that with my future children. Fast forward to today where I have two kids that are 3 and under and now […]
That Unwanted Opinion We All Have Received
“You know what would help your kid?” Annnnnd no. Let me stop you right there. Unless you’re a pediatrician, psychologist or one of my close friends, don’t even try it. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I don’t want help with issues with my kids. But here’s the difference. Let me ask you […]
Bidding adieu to the boobie milk
On my birthday this past year, I was ready to blow out 28 candles and was wishing my family would take my second pregnancy as good news after a rather scary delivery with my first. What I should have wished for was a minivan or, the best use of my wish, to be a Holstein […]
Temper Tantrums: Why My 3yo Scares the Hell Out of Me
What a beautiful day it is! You think, “Maybe I should pack up a picnic, put my daughter’s bike in the back of the truck and bring her to the park for a day filled with fun!” I see your very optimistic. But don’t forget, you have a 3yo whose trigger for going off could […]
The importance of a day off
As I sit here on my living room sofa allowing Little Baby Bum to continue its reign of terror in my home, I am brimming with excitement. For approximately 1 and a half hours, 90 minutes, 5400 seconds, I will be able to enjoy time outside of the house without children. Sing it to the […]
My Kid’s Favorite Characters and My Thoughts
Doc McStuffins – Thanks for teaching my kids to bust up their toys and try and “fix” them. I now have a teddy bear that my kid ripped open, pulled stuffing out and then mushed her glue stick all over it to close it back up. Looks like the Doc doesn’t really know her stuff. […]
All is quiet on the play place front
There are very few things that compare with the relief, nay the unbridled joy, of realizing you’ve arrived at your play destination just after everyone has bailed for lunch. You have the whole place practically to yourself. This is your sanctuary. Your incense? The sweet nectar of chlorine bleach because thank the sweet lord baby […]
A Day at Work as a Mom
7:30am – I hear stirring over the monitor which is my cue to start my day. Do I have time to take a shower? No. I hear my bosses calling for me to come to their offices. I arrive and help both bosses change into their work attire. 7:55am – Bring them both their breakfast […]
About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
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Did you know that you can bring a carseat to the fire department and ask firemen for help moving or installing it?
Did you also know, it's considered inappropriate to set up a chair in the shade, sip wine and watch hot firemen installing that same car seat?
5yo: "If you die I'd be so sad bc Daddy doesn't buy us the good snacks."
[Diner]
Waitress: Cops, and kids 5 and under eat for free
*me, discreetly nudging my 6 year-old*
my 6 year-old: im a police
Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning.
My Mom finally got the courage to bring my Dad's urn into the living room and place it on the mantle. It was bittersweet and caught everyone a little off guard, including my Dad who was just sitting there watching Storage Wars.