To the Moms I Used to Judge Before I Had Kids
I owe you an apology. I can’t tell you how many times I used to be annoyed by someone else’s kids and thought to myself, why won’t that mom control her kid? And now, I understand. I remember being on a plane and seeing this woman with a 6 or 7 month old baby. He […]
50 places I have found Cheerios
Here is an extensive list of all the places I have found Cheerios: A variety of shoes More than a few diapers In my pockets The dryer The pantry The refrigerator Inside the detergent compartment of the dishwasher Inside an envelope at the Oscars Toy box My lunch box The sandbox Pandora’s box The box […]
Fact: There Will Be Times You Go Days Without a Shower
Ah motherhood. You made life. You cared and nurtured it, and made sure it was happy and healthy. You’ve cleaned their little faces, wiped their little noses and changed all their dirty diapers. Your little one is looking good. Then there’s you. Eesh. By the look of it, it’s been about 3 to 4 solid […]
On the Eve of Mother’s Day
Here’s to all the mothers who are working twice as hard today to have a chance at relaxing tomorrow. You have washed your sheets in hopes of lying in bed a little longer. You have unloaded the dishwasher to make way for the aftermath of a brunch thoughtfully made by your loved ones. You have […]
A-tisket, a-tasket, just hide that junk in a basket
I love a decorative basket. In fact, could we just bring back those Longaberger parties I know my mom would go to all those years ago? Forget essential oils, face creams, butt plugs and whatever other wares people are peddling these days. Until anal beads can hide all the stuff I’ve accumulated in the two […]
Why I Laugh When My Kid Falls Down and Eats It
Me and my kid are walking down the sidewalk headed towards the playground. The sun beaming down on my daughter’s hair as it blows effortlessly in the wind. I take a minute to think how great it must be to be a 3yo. No worries, no cares, just happy to be running free. She […]
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation”
“Mornings are for coffee and contemplation.” Buy it on a mug or plaster it on a sweatshirt. It’s like writing down your hopes in the third grade or making a dream board in college. Maybe if you write it down, it will come to fruition. But as a stay-at-home mother, this remains an aspiration and […]
Why it’s okay to call your kid a jerk
Alright, alright…calm down. We know you love your kid. But if we’re being honest, you know there’s definitely been more than one time your kid has done something that’s made you look at him and think, “what an asshole.” And probably on more than one occasion you’ve said it out loud. Let’s be real here. […]
So You’re in a Rush?
It’s 8:30 in the morning and you have a doctor’s appointment for your 3 year old at 10am. Plenty of enough time to get ready and be there on time, right? Nope. Because you have a 3 year old. Their understanding of time is like your understanding of quantum physics. They don’t care where you […]
Thoughts while working out
Alright. Cool. Both kids down for a nap. Time for some me time. Going to do this body RIGHT. I need to find some clothes. Yoga pants first order of business. Who am I kidding? I have like ten pairs. Shouldn’t be hard. K so where are those pants? Could Donald Duck it but what […]
About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
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Just spent 5 minutes using makeup wipes and a rag trying to scrub red marker off of my 5yo's face only to find out it was a scrape.
*My 8yo looking at her kindergarten yearbook*
"Ugh, look how young I looked. I feel so old. I need to sit down."
Did you know that you can bring a carseat to the fire department and ask firemen for help moving or installing it?
Did you also know, it's considered inappropriate to set up a chair in the shade, sip wine and watch hot firemen installing that same car seat?
5yo: "If you die I'd be so sad bc Daddy doesn't buy us the good snacks."