World War 3 aka Mealtime
It’s 8am. You’re in the kitchen with your 3yo and you ask her “what do you want for breakfast today?” Her reply “cereal”. You glare at her trying to decipher if you believe her or not. She stares back at you and never blinks. “Ok…cereal it is.” And she leaves the kitchen. But you’re still […]
Shows about mamas for mamas
Here is a list of shows for you to turn on with every intention of watching, just to abandon to do things around the house only to come back and have it be on the fifth episode (but if you can manage sitting in one place and getting some much needed “me time,” do it.) […]
Species: Mother AKA: Mom, Mommy, Mama, Servant, Slave to Her Family
Description Hair in a messy bun, yoga pants, sweatshirt with either food, milk or both on it. Tired eyes, unshaved legs and a Target receipt hanging out of her purse. Habitat Grocery stores, playgrounds, doctor’s offices or her residence. Foods Lara Bars, leftover goldfish she found in an old ziploc bag in the bottom […]
Doing away with sarcasm in the toddler age
I am one of those unfortunate douchebags who falls back on sarcasm all too frequently. It’s not a great trait. It’s especially not great when in the company of a toddler learning the ins and outs of verbal communication. Cursing has been easier for me to curb than expected with adequate replacements to sub in […]
Resume of a Stay-at-Home Mom
One nagging thought that pops up every so often while being an average-at-best homemaker is returning to work. Eventually my children will be seen fading into the distance on a yellow school bus and I will be left with a void likely to be filled with gainful employment after a rather unconvincing argument that the […]
My “Mom Attire” is Multi-Functional
My Messy Bun – A food safety benefit. When I prep the many meals for my family during the day, my messy bun keeps all my hair in place proving to be as efficient as a hairnet. My Yoga Pants – Highly effective when having to climb into playground equipment to retrieve my child or […]
Mombie
Mombie: / mam-bee / Noun A mother who is consumed by raising her children to the point of being sleep deprived or simply obsessed, zombie-like. ————————————————————————————————————————————– As a fellow Mombie, let me welcome you. If you’re the mom to a baby who has yet to sleep through the night, you’re in good company. Currently, […]
Welcome to my Village
On most days if you’d walk into my house, you might think you’ve walked back in time to when dinosaurs and caveman roamed the Earth. My 3yo is shirtless and probably foraging food off the floor. I’m probably carrying my baby around on my hip as he’s flailing his arms around and drooling. Often […]
My Child…the Champion of Marathon Eating
Trust me, my kid is worse than yours. It’s not that she’s super picky. Although, she’s definitely that too. It’s that she’s insanely distracted and takes longer to eat than a sloth. I’ve tried everything. Timers, losing privileges, throwing her food away, incentives for finishing, saying she needs to eat fast like a cheetah and […]
28/f/SAHM, u?
Okay, I’ll admit it. Being a stay at home parent is terribly lonely. When I was pregnant with my first child, my husband and I agreed we did not want daycare and that me staying at home would be an eventual goal once finances allowed. So, for the first year of my son’s life, I […]
About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
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If you wondered what mom brain is like:
Got half way home from picking up 4 at school and panicked because I forgot the baby at home.
30 seconds later realized I was pushing the baby in the stroller.
If you remember the exact time that your second child was born, you're a better person than I.
*looking over 10’s report card*
Me: why the poor mark in “shows effort”?
10: well the teacher gives us work and says we can do it if we want to, like extra credit, and when I don’t do it cuz I don’t want to she says I don’t show effort... can you believe it?
Me:
Kids have it easy. I can’t remember the last time anyone cheered and gave ME high fives for putting my pants on the right way.
If you don't yell ”Pivot” every time you move a piece of heavy furniture are you even a millennial?