A most dangerous game
Think of raising a baby as a game. A game in which you must always remain at least one step ahead of a little human who is insistent on offing his or herself with things we would otherwise see as non-threatening in our day-to-day, pre-parent lives. Outlets need to be covered, cabinets need to be […]
Why is it so hard to keep clothes on my kid?
I’ve entered a new era with my 3 year old daughter. She thinks running around naked is hysterical. No, not just at home. At dance, during her Little Gym class and sometimes at other people’s homes. I’ve been successful thus far at keeping her clothed at most other public places. Although, I did see her […]
Closing Time
Ah, chores. Is there anything worse than realizing you got the kids to bed but your day isn’t over yet. In fact, you’re just starting the closing procedures. Like that of a restaurant turning it’s open sign to closed for the night. You look at the house and it’s like a toy explosion met a […]
The holiest of craps
As parents, life is full of little “holy crap” moments. They can range from the good like “holy crap, did you see him take his first steps?!” to the bad like “holy crap, what did you just put in your mouth?” to the literal like “holy crap, what did this kid eat?” Occasionally, there is […]
The Common Cold: A Horror Story
I’m a huge fan of horror movies but I am quick to discount ones that just use blood and gore to cause fear. The good ones? They are the ones that build a sense of dread you can feel deep down in the pit of your stomach. What rivals that particular brand of dread? The […]
Tongue Tied
My son was born with a tongue tie, but it didn’t demand the immediate attention of anyone in the hospital when he was born, nor did it cause any concern from his pediatrician until he began showing a delay in speech. We took the “wait and see” approach, exhausting every avenue before deeming surgery necessary. […]
When Your Kid Uses Your Own Words Against You
As a mother, you’re supposed to bestow wisdom on our children to help them learn the ways of the world. “Say thank you”, “don’t say crap”, “you’re freaking out and need to calm down”, etc. All teachings that were passed down from your parents. So you’ve been where your kids are and had to hear […]
Car seat power naps are the freakin’ worst
Imagine you are driving home after running some quick errands with your toddler – nothing out of the ordinary, just a stop to drop off some things at Goodwill and pick up some groceries. Sure, he may have had a few moments in the store but nothing you couldn’t manage. Nothing to indicate what is […]
Games My Kids Play That I Hate
Hide the open container of yogurt. How many Goldfish can I fit in my mouth at once. How many times can I sing Baby Shark before Mom freaks out. If I eat this red finger paint, will it taste like strawberries. How far can I get my finger in my nose. Can I draw a […]
My Child…the Champion of Marathon Eating
Trust me, my kid is worse than yours. It’s not that she’s super picky. Although, she’s definitely that too. It’s that she’s insanely distracted and takes longer to eat than a sloth. I’ve tried everything. Timers, losing privileges, throwing her food away, incentives for finishing, saying she needs to eat fast like a cheetah and […]
About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
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Just spent 5 minutes using makeup wipes and a rag trying to scrub red marker off of my 5yo's face only to find out it was a scrape.
*My 8yo looking at her kindergarten yearbook*
"Ugh, look how young I looked. I feel so old. I need to sit down."
Did you know that you can bring a carseat to the fire department and ask firemen for help moving or installing it?
Did you also know, it's considered inappropriate to set up a chair in the shade, sip wine and watch hot firemen installing that same car seat?
5yo: "If you die I'd be so sad bc Daddy doesn't buy us the good snacks."