EMILY

Kid Craziness

A most dangerous game

Think of raising a baby as a game.  A game in which you must always remain at least one step ahead of a little human who is insistent on offing his or herself with things we would otherwise see as non-threatening in our day-to-day, pre-parent lives.  Outlets need to be covered, cabinets need to be […]

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Mom Life

What’s in my diaper bag

For longer than I care to admit, I was a tabloid junkie.  I would stand in the line for the cashier at the grocery store and peruse for the most attention-grabbing headline regarding whichever celebrity’s divorce or pregnancy or affair or nervous breakdown or freshly bleached bunghole.  I would read about it being news that […]

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Mom Life

Breaking from the 9 to 5

For much of my adolescence, I spent weeknight dinners and weekends with my mother, father, and sister. It gave a feeling of consistency and solidity knowing most nights the whole family would be home, gathered around the table, talking about how the kid next door is a future criminal or how the assistant principal is […]

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Uncategorized

Am I packing for a family vacation or moving cross-country?

It’s not uncommon and certainly not wrong to look back on your days, pre-children, and remember them fondly. More recently, I did this as I was practically playing the world’s worst game of Tetris trying to fit the boatloads of things needed for our week-long vacation in the back of our Honda CR-V. Remember when […]

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Kid Craziness, Kid Stories

The holiest of craps

As parents, life is full of little “holy crap” moments. They can range from the good like “holy crap, did you see him take his first steps?!” to the bad like “holy crap, what did you just put in your mouth?” to the literal like “holy crap, what did this kid eat?” Occasionally, there is […]

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Mom Life, Pregnancy

Pregnancy after prematurity

My first pregnancy, I made it to 32 weeks and 4 days before everything unraveled.  A normal day gave way to seizures, dangerously high blood pressure, extremely low blood platelets, and the premature delivery of my son nearly 8 weeks early with little to no memory of what happened.   With an invaluable amount of therapy […]

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Kid Craziness, Mom Life, Mom Rant

The Common Cold: A Horror Story

I’m a huge fan of horror movies but I am quick to discount ones that just use blood and gore to cause fear. The good ones?  They are the ones that build a sense of dread you can feel deep down in the pit of your stomach. What rivals that particular brand of dread?  The […]

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Kid Craziness, Kid Stories

Tongue Tied

My son was born with a tongue tie, but it didn’t demand the immediate attention of anyone in the hospital when he was born, nor did it cause any concern from his pediatrician until he began showing a delay in speech.  We took the “wait and see” approach, exhausting every avenue before deeming surgery necessary. […]

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Mom Life

Maternity clothes, you the real MVP

Today is the landmark occasion that I finally put away my maternity clothes. Sure, it may be over 5 months since my last child left my body and sometime less than that after reaching my pre-pregnancy weight.  But dammit, I earned every minute in those stretchy, extra forgiving clothes. Sorry, not sorry. Hell, I would […]

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Mom Rant

When a toddler waves at you, dammit, you wave back

I am curious, sir, who sat there mean-muggin’ when my precious, innocent little child waved at you with his tiny little hands, smiling with his tiny little toothy grin – who hurt you?  Was your favorite family pet murdered by a gang of angry toddlers, cranky from teething and a bad nap? Maybe one unfiltered […]

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