How I knew I was meant to be a mother

I have an admiration for anyone who has the confidence to boldly state “I always knew I was meant to be a ________.”  Fill in the blank. Teacher. Lounge singer. Small-time criminal. Big-time lawyer. To have a sense of destiny in what you do, what you call yourself.

More often than not, I feel like I have clumsily fallen (perhaps tripped on a Tickle Me Elmo) into the role of being a mother.  There was no choir of angels, no parting of the clouds, no moment I could specifically point to where I knew it was meant to be.  Even two years in after having my first child, I feel like I’m piecing it together like some awkward freshman at the local university’s improv comedy group.  

Maybe it was always meant to be.  Maybe I just need take a trip back, read the tea leaves, and know that it was destiny or whatever.  So here are the ways I knew, deep down, I was meant to be a mother.

• Proclivity for having snacks and/or hand sanitizer on me at all times.
• Insane reflexes for protecting my Taco Bell from falling out of the passenger seat and onto the floor when I hit the breaks.  Also good for protecting small children from injury. I mean taco shells are far more fragile, really.
• Spot-on impersonator of Roz from Monsters Inc.  (I’m watching you, Wazowski.)
• Super animated story-teller. Comes in handy at keggers and also for keeping you at the edge of your seat during The Monster at the End of This Book.
• Huge (and growing) collection of yoga pants.
• High pain tolerance, good for birthing and stepping on legos.
• Predisposition to dark under-eye circles (Did I get a full eight consecutive hours sleep or five hours broken into 3 segments?  You will never know).
• Very doughy mom-bod even pre-mom, perfect for cuddling tiny overlords.
• Great at removing laundry stains from sloppy kid’s clothing as I was (am) a sloppy adult.
• Semi-adequate singing voice for cranking out a mediocre cover of Boston’s More Than A Feeling at karaoke. Also suffices for lullabies, which may or may not also include Boston’s More Than A Feeling.
• Really good at making scrambled eggs and peanut butter sandwiches.
• Favorite cocktail is a dirty vodka martini (mostly in it for the olives – see no.1 about fondness of snacks). What else needs to be shaken?  Bottles. But not babies. Never shake babies.
• Preexisting love for Target on late mornings during the week.
• Never had to talk me into going to a zoo or aquarium.  
• I, too, am also fond of naps, goldfish crackers, and apple juice. I call it the holy trinity.

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