As a mother, you’re supposed to bestow wisdom on our children to help them learn the ways of the world. “Say thank you”, “don’t say crap”, “you’re freaking out and need to calm down”, etc. All teachings that were passed down from your parents. So you’ve been where your kids are and had to hear all these life lessons before. So naturally, it’s time to continue the process.
The other day, I was unloading the dishwasher and tried to take a pair of tongs out. They got stuck and, in my hurry to finish, I almost ripped out the whole top rack of the dishwasher. Of course, my reaction was to say “stupid tongs!” As if the tongs themselves had twiddled their fingers together and thought, “nows our chance to screw with her!” And that’s when I heard an all too familiar phrase.
“We don’t say stupid!”
Like a private investigator hiding in the shadows, I see my 3yo with a look of disapproval on her face peeking around the island. I roll my eyes and have to fess up that she’s right and I shouldn’t have said “stupid”.
Evidently, by admitting I had made a mistake, this somehow made my kid think she was promoted to Head Disciplinarian. She went on, while shaking her finger at me, to explain how “it’s not polite to call people or things stupid.” Also, how I wouldn’t like someone to call me stupid. Then she puffed her chest out and proudly walked away so I could think about what I did. I think I saw her shake her head in disappointment, but I’m not sure.
Then on another day, someone cut me off when driving. I started yelling about how much of a jerk they were and that I have kids in the car, blah, blah, blah. And once again, here comes this little voice in the backseat…”Mommy, you’re freaking out. You need to calm down and take 3 big breaths.” Yeah, thanks for the advice Dr. Phil.
The other fun thing about having a 3yo is they’ll rat you out at the drop of a dime too. So for instance, I said “Crap” when I realized I forgot my sunglasses at the park. My daughter was nice enough to remind me at that moment, that we’re not supposed to say “crap”. But then later, she decided to tell her teacher I said it too. Thanks kid.
Now that I realize I live with a nark, I have to be a little more careful what I say and do around her. Mainly, for embarrassment of what she’s willing to tell other people. So now I feel like I live on a reality TV show that is constantly recording and will expose my every flaw. I’ll have to think about how to handle this the next time she places me in timeout I guess.