Games My Kids Play That I Hate
- Hide the open container of yogurt.
- How many Goldfish can I fit in my mouth at once.
- How many times can I sing Baby Shark before Mom freaks out.
- If I eat this red finger paint, will it taste like strawberries.
- How far can I get my finger in my nose.
- Can I draw a smiley face on mommy’s truck with sidewalk chalk.
- Can I walk down the stairs with my eyes shut.
- Stick our head into a public trash can and have a treasure hunt.
- Hold as much water in my mouth as possible and see if I can sing a song.
- What flavor is this used chewing gum I found under a park bench.
- How long can I stare at Mommy while she’s sleeping before she wakes up and screams.
- How many dandelions can I stuff in my pants.
- What does this Grocery Store sliding glass door taste like.
- How fast can I run while in the glass aisle in Macy’s.
- Trying to visit every potty, in every store, in the entire state whether I have to pee or not.
- Can I ride a cat like a horse.
- Hide the cheese stick down my pants and see how long it takes Mommy to find it.
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About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
Latest Tweets
9 wrote a song called “My Mummy Has A Squishy Tummy” and he’s singing it while his brother and sister play harmonica and bongos and I seem to have unlocked an ultimate level of parenting hell
My biggest mistake as a parent is continuing to buy things made of glass
I was cooking dinner when 4 said “mummy I want to be a police officer when I grow up”. When I asked why she looked me straight in the eye and said “so I can arrest people who make horrible meals” then carried on playing with her dolls house
Friend: What’s it like to host a kids’ birthday party?
Me: Imagine giving crystal meth to a bunch of hungry squirrels, and then hosting a squirrel rodeo in your backyard. It’s like that.
Friend: What?
Me: What?
My brand can best be described as “burps up pizza while working out”.