Games My Kids Play That I Hate
- Hide the open container of yogurt.
- How many Goldfish can I fit in my mouth at once.
- How many times can I sing Baby Shark before Mom freaks out.
- If I eat this red finger paint, will it taste like strawberries.
- How far can I get my finger in my nose.
- Can I draw a smiley face on mommy’s truck with sidewalk chalk.
- Can I walk down the stairs with my eyes shut.
- Stick our head into a public trash can and have a treasure hunt.
- Hold as much water in my mouth as possible and see if I can sing a song.
- What flavor is this used chewing gum I found under a park bench.
- How long can I stare at Mommy while she’s sleeping before she wakes up and screams.
- How many dandelions can I stuff in my pants.
- What does this Grocery Store sliding glass door taste like.
- How fast can I run while in the glass aisle in Macy’s.
- Trying to visit every potty, in every store, in the entire state whether I have to pee or not.
- Can I ride a cat like a horse.
- Hide the cheese stick down my pants and see how long it takes Mommy to find it.
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About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
Latest Tweets
If you’re sitting next to your kid during zoom school it is absolutely imperative that you check, and then double check, whether he’s on mute before making a snarky comment. Please learn from my mistakes.
As if parenting in 2020 isn’t bad enough, schools be like:
“iPads must be fully charged”
“Read all daily emails”
“A ‘healthy’ breakfast is essential”
“Wear pants”
“Ma’am, your language is inappropriate”
“PUT ON A BRA!”
“Have you been drinking?”
Geez. Give us a break already.
Prayers for my husband who very tragically got me nothing for our anniversary when I specifically told him I wanted nothing for our anniversary.
Parenting is weird because at some point you’re going to hold funeral services for a bird. It probably won’t even be a pet bird. Just a dead one your kids happen upon in the park.
Eating Tums is just sage-burning for your intestines.