Games My Kids Play That I Hate
- Hide the open container of yogurt.
- How many Goldfish can I fit in my mouth at once.
- How many times can I sing Baby Shark before Mom freaks out.
- If I eat this red finger paint, will it taste like strawberries.
- How far can I get my finger in my nose.
- Can I draw a smiley face on mommy’s truck with sidewalk chalk.
- Can I walk down the stairs with my eyes shut.
- Stick our head into a public trash can and have a treasure hunt.
- Hold as much water in my mouth as possible and see if I can sing a song.
- What flavor is this used chewing gum I found under a park bench.
- How long can I stare at Mommy while she’s sleeping before she wakes up and screams.
- How many dandelions can I stuff in my pants.
- What does this Grocery Store sliding glass door taste like.
- How fast can I run while in the glass aisle in Macy’s.
- Trying to visit every potty, in every store, in the entire state whether I have to pee or not.
- Can I ride a cat like a horse.
- Hide the cheese stick down my pants and see how long it takes Mommy to find it.
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About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
Latest Tweets
I just used a new scratchy sponge to clean a pan that had dried up grease and now the pan looks shiny and smooth and I’m irrationally happy about it. I had no idea adulting was gonna be THIS wild.
Me: *shuts door and sits on toilet*
!!!BIG CRASH!!!
8: *bangs on door* mummy!
Me: *crying on the inside* what happened?
8: um....I need to show you something when you come out
Me: ok *climbs out window and starts new life in a land far far away*
Things they should tell you to expect when expecting:
Boys will pee in the bath they are sharing and laugh hysterically rather than being grossed out.
Welcome to middle age. Those sheet marks on your face are permanent now.
My 9yo googled “how to guilt your parents into ungrounding you”.
Is this evil or genius?
I can’t decide