Resume of a Stay-at-Home Mom
One nagging thought that pops up every so often while being an average-at-best homemaker is returning to work. Eventually my children will be seen fading into the distance on a yellow school bus and I will be left with a void likely to be filled with gainful employment after a rather unconvincing argument that the dog needs full-time care.
Will my time spent raising my children put me at a disadvantage? How do I convey that I am able to pick up right where I left off? In these times of anxiety, I find brushing up on my resume works best for tempering my fears. So I present to you my most current revision.
Emily S. A. Homies
321 Whichever Dr. ❖ Wherever, North Carolina ❖ (123) 555-1234
Profile
Stay-at-Home Mom with background in legal field. Experienced in providing support to attorneys, getting poop stains out of laundry, and altering lyrics to pop hits to accommodate diaper changes, bedtime, baths, etc.
Highlights
❖Law Office Support
❖Client Relations
❖Temper Tantrum Management
❖Master Negotiator
Work Experience
Stay-at-Home Mom
April 2017-Present
❖Respond promptly to crises, such as projectile spit-up, not liking today’s peanut butter sandwich despite liking it every other damn day, and the WiFi going out and taking Thomas and Friends with it.
❖Manage 2 children’s calendars, who honestly don’t care if you’re trying to go to Target today because their morning is booked with blowouts and taking two hours to eat breakfast.
❖Juggle several tasks at once, including trying to keep a toddler entertained and not touching any surfaces while using a public restroom.
❖Adapt quickly to ever-changing situations, such as my toddler deciding poison oak would make a lovely bouquet or having a sudden, violent aversion to footie pajamas.
❖Function on as little sleep as humanly possible while power napping during an episode of Sesame Street.
Legal Assistant
June 2011-March 2017
❖Helped lawyers with legal things.
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About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.
Latest Tweets
Just spent 5 minutes using makeup wipes and a rag trying to scrub red marker off of my 5yo's face only to find out it was a scrape.
*My 8yo looking at her kindergarten yearbook*
"Ugh, look how young I looked. I feel so old. I need to sit down."
Did you know that you can bring a carseat to the fire department and ask firemen for help moving or installing it?
Did you also know, it's considered inappropriate to set up a chair in the shade, sip wine and watch hot firemen installing that same car seat?
5yo: "If you die I'd be so sad bc Daddy doesn't buy us the good snacks."
This absolutely terrifies me. I’ve been a SAHM since 2010 because I was expecting our 3rd child and just did not make enough to cover the cost of 3 kids in daycare. My 4th is now 3 and my husband is dropping not-so-subtle hints that he thinks I should go back to work the second her little toes cross the threshold at Pre-K. To complicate things, my oldest is autistic. 2010 was also the year he started kindergarten, so I have always been available to race to the school if he had a meltdown. I have no idea how I… Read more »
Everything in due time, mama! You do what works best for you and your family, even if that doesn’t mean work.