Month: April 2018

Mom Life

Why it’s okay to call your kid a jerk

Alright, alright…calm down. We know you love your kid. But if we’re being honest, you know there’s definitely been more than one time your kid has done something that’s made you look at him and think, “what an asshole.” And probably on more than one occasion you’ve said it out loud. Let’s be real here. […]

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Mom Rant

When postpartum hair loss rears its ugly, balding head

Ah, postpartum hair loss. You have come to rear your ugly head. Perhaps a head with a nice bald spot as my hair seemingly falls out in clumps. Gone is the lustrous pregnancy hair, full of body and shine. I thought I could push you off a bit by continuing to take my prenatal vitamins […]

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Kid Craziness, Mom Life

So You’re in a Rush?

It’s 8:30 in the morning and you have a doctor’s appointment for your 3 year old at 10am.  Plenty of enough time to get ready and be there on time, right? Nope.  Because you have a 3 year old.  Their understanding of time is like your understanding of quantum physics.  They don’t care where you […]

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Mom Life

Thoughts while working out

Alright. Cool. Both kids down for a nap. Time for some me time. Going to do this body RIGHT. I need to find some clothes. Yoga pants first order of business. Who am I kidding?  I have like ten pairs. Shouldn’t be hard. K so where are those pants?  Could Donald Duck it but what […]

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Mom Life

Husbands That Are Badass Enough to get Vasectomies

So you just have your baby and are in the midst of the chaos of learning how to take care of it.  You’re accepting the fact that there’s no recovery time for you and your body is taking the backseat to this new bundle of joy.  (I use the word “joy” loosely) So while your […]

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Mom Life

99 red balloons (OK, 2. Just 2 balloons)

About a month ago, I was out running errands with my sister preparing for my son’s 2nd Birthday party. Unsuspecting of what was to come, I walk into Party City with two balloons I had purchased at the Target Dollar Spot and present them to the employee to be filled with helium. What ensued was […]

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Mom Life

Using Candy as Incentive for Your Kid to Listen to You

I remember a few years ago, hearing a lady in a checkout line tell her kid “if you stop crying, I’ll get you a cookie.” Then thinking to myself, how I would never do that with my future children. Fast forward to today where I have two kids that are 3 and under and now […]

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Kid Craziness

Oh, no!

If my kid could trademark a phrase, it would be “oh, no!”  It’s his “you got it, dude,” his “book ‘em, Danno,” his “did I do that?” I understand he got it from somewhere, that he must have heard me say it and repeated it from there, but it has become a cycle that feeds […]

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Mom Life, Mom Rant

That Unwanted Opinion We All Have Received

“You know what would help your kid?” Annnnnd no.  Let me stop you right there.  Unless you’re a pediatrician, psychologist or one of my close friends, don’t even try it.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I don’t want help with issues with my kids. But here’s the difference.  Let me ask you […]

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Mom Life

Bidding adieu to the boobie milk

On my birthday this past year, I was ready to blow out 28 candles and was wishing my family would take my second pregnancy as good news after a rather scary delivery with my first.  What I should have wished for was a minivan or, the best use of my wish, to be a Holstein […]

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