The dreaded day ruiner
Toddlers are funny creatures. Despite being one ourselves long, long ago, the memory is too far gone to remember what it’s like- especially what causes the sudden, inexplicable shift in a day once going well to one that is a shit storm of epic proportions. What makes the difference between my toddler playing happily one […]
The Day My 3yo Said A Homeless Man Looked Disgusting
I love my kid. She’s awesome. I love talking about stuff with her and seeing how she feels or what she thinks about it. It’s always interesting to hear her take on stuff. Recently, we were driving and came up to a stop light. There was a homeless man asking for money. My daughter […]
If SAHP Were To Make A Salary, It Would Be $162,581.
This is according to salary.com. Feeling a little better? Yeah, me too. Being a SAHP isn’t easy. It’s often times a thankless job. So many times I’ve thought how I wish I would get a paycheck to validate all my hardwork. Really just to see how much my work is worth. I’m of course grateful […]
A Day In The Life Of A 1 Year Old
*Cue the first sign of light at approximately 5:02am* IS THAT LIGHT! IT MUST BE MORNING! Well, time to wake everyone up. You know, if it wasn’t for me, they’d probably sleep the whole day. *clears throat* WAHHHHHHH! WAHHHHHHH! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It’s been 8 seconds and no one came in yet. Something must be wrong. I […]
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas For a Mom
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the home, The kids had gone nuts and wouldn’t leave mom alone. She scrambled through dinner and rushed through their baths, And put them in jammies, her small psychopaths. Then they took off running with a scream and a shout, While mom followed hoping for no diaper […]
A most dangerous game
Think of raising a baby as a game. A game in which you must always remain at least one step ahead of a little human who is insistent on offing his or herself with things we would otherwise see as non-threatening in our day-to-day, pre-parent lives. Outlets need to be covered, cabinets need to be […]
The Epic Search For Your Child’s Favorite Toy
It’s approaching your baby’s bedtime. Before the confetti drops and you and your husband kick back to watch one of the many shows you’re probably seasons behind on, you need to get that kid to sleep. So operation “Subdue The Spawn” commences. You get him fed, changed and dress him in his favorite fuzzy PJs. […]
Why is it so hard to keep clothes on my kid?
I’ve entered a new era with my 3 year old daughter. She thinks running around naked is hysterical. No, not just at home. At dance, during her Little Gym class and sometimes at other people’s homes. I’ve been successful thus far at keeping her clothed at most other public places. Although, I did see her […]
What’s in my diaper bag
For longer than I care to admit, I was a tabloid junkie. I would stand in the line for the cashier at the grocery store and peruse for the most attention-grabbing headline regarding whichever celebrity’s divorce or pregnancy or affair or nervous breakdown or freshly bleached bunghole. I would read about it being news that […]
Closing Time
Ah, chores. Is there anything worse than realizing you got the kids to bed but your day isn’t over yet. In fact, you’re just starting the closing procedures. Like that of a restaurant turning it’s open sign to closed for the night. You look at the house and it’s like a toy explosion met a […]
About The Authors
THE MOMS
Dara and Emily are two stay-at-home moms living in North Carolina who survive the everyday chaos of parenting by handling it with humor and lots of wine. I mean so much wine. Really.